Collections come in many different types, sizes, & for many different reasons that we will touch on as time goes on, but this time I want to talk about the ones that mean the most to people…the personal collections.
These can be collections based on things that mean more than just the act of collecting…something that hits at a very emotional & singular purpose. They can range from an entire basis of a collection to just a small few items. Their financial value or rarity has no bearing on the meaning of these collections as they are truly irreplaceable to the people who hold them dear.
For me it’s the simple collection of three items based around a sci-fi series that I enjoyed but didn’t have a massive urge to collect called Battlestar Galactica. Specifically the 2004 series that ran for four seasons until 2009. There was a follow up series…but we aren’t going to talk about those.
The collection is small, consisting of just two main ships, and a piece of art that I recently purchased at Dragon Con 2022 to display with these two items. They aren’t generally very rare items, and don’t go for large amounts of money, but are the most irreplaceable items in my entire collection for one simple reason.
These are the two things my younger brother, Ian Bruce Brown, left me after he passed on November 18th, 2021.
Ian and I were separated by age (I’m 10 years older) but always tried to stay together even as family issues, moving to other states, and more tried to keep us apart. It was difficult and we missed out on years of connection that still feel stolen from us but we did what we could.
But Ian got sick a few years back. He collapsed one day and was taken to the hospital and I wasn’t even told until Ian himself was able to tell me because our Dad didn’t want me to know. There are many issues in regards to him, but this isn’t about that…it’s about Ian and me. Ian found out that he had a tumor in his brain that would require surgery to attempt to remove. All of this during the beginnings of Covid and the lockdowns made this incredibly difficult to see each other because I was worried of making him sick in his condition and he had others around him that wanted to keep him isolated.
One surgery led to another and then to more issues as time went on and he continued to fight. But you could see how much this was taking a toll on him and it killed me that I wasn’t able to do anything of merit to help make him better. It’s the job of the older brother to take care of the younger but I didn’t know how.
Finally Ian decided after a few surgeries, scars, and issues happening with his vision, memory, and other things that he had enough. He didn’t want to fight anymore. So I did what I could to spend time with him and planned a day trip out to Pensacola to share in some nerdy delights.
It’s about a two hour drive out there from Panama City so we had time to chat while he got comfortable in the car and I whisked us away for what would be our last trip together. We talked about our family, our late mother (who had passed back in 2018 just a few months before the hurricane that would wreck and reshape much of where we live happened), our loves of music, and of course our sci-fi favorites. That’s where Battlestar Galactica came up.
He had asked me before to watch the series with him after he had discovered it and I had to remind him that I had watched it years prior but didn’t know he was into it too. So while I wasn’t actively watching it as he was, I was fully aware of what happens and could dive into the discussion with glee. We talked story points, design, music, and more. He absolutely loved that show. But there were two things that came up that led to what I am talking about today…and that would be his two ship models from the show that he had and cherished. The Battlestar Galactica itself and a Cylon Basestar.
As we talked and he realized I loved the show (back when it came out) he made the request that he wanted me to have those two ships. He wanted them to go where they would be displayed and appreciated instead of just sitting in a box somewhere or whatever would happen to them. I agreed and didn’t give it another thought as we had our final day out together. We even found the PlayStation 2 and Xbox editions of the “Battlestar Galactica” videogame that we were supposed to play together. I still haven’t played those but hope to some day. I wish I had known it would be the last that day but I am glad I had it.
Ian passed on November 18th, 2021 in the evening. I was out of town when it happened as I wasn’t told he had fallen into a coma until I had already landed on the other side of the country and was trying to call him to see if he would join me on a trip to our Grandmothers in the Virginia mountains in about a month. Honestly I tried to act like this day would never come and would plan for each day after in my own way of coping I believe. But my Dad called me back after Ian didn’t answer, which surprised me as we rarely talk, and he told me what was going on. I had no way to get home for a few days so I buried myself in my work to get it done at a record speed….to save every last moment of time to get back to see Ian. He passed on my last night with my flight being the next morning. Alone in a hotel room across the country I simply broke.
Everything after that was a blur of traveling home and dealing with the loss I felt. My little brother was gone and I just kept thinking that this wasn’t how it was supposed to be. I was the eldest…I was supposed to go first so they could have a long and happy life. But while I was at my Dads house as we planned out things, I remembered the two ships. They were still sitting on a table in the living room where Ian had left them. I asked my Dad for them and explained our talk from the trip…and was promptly told “no”.
Ian apparently hadn’t left this information with my Dad. He had other things on his mind and probably thought it wouldn’t be a big deal. But it had become one. Dad had decided that the models should go to the children of one of our cousins in Virginia. Two kids who while innocent in this whole ordeal…honestly had little to no idea who Ian was like I did. I begged and pleaded to get these two items…and that was all. I asked for nothing else. These are the two things Ian wanted me to have and I implicitly understood the why and the importance of them.
Dad finally relented to let me have them, but only on the restriction that I had to find two brand new ones to replace them with for the cousins kid to get. These models were released years prior and had been out of active circulation for years still. But I had to find them…this was the ransom on a connection to my brother that I would not let go. I searched online and was able to find both models, still new in the box for each, and paid to get them. The day they came in I went to trade them for the two I really wanted. Not understanding why the reasoning of why I wanted these two (slightly broken) models over the two brand new ones I had in my hand was so set in its way. This was a test because our Dad believed I would sell them for money or they were just a prize for a collection I was trying to get. These are truly priceless to me. If we had to leave our home behind these would be among the items I would have to bring.
But I have them home now. They are on a shelf at the moment where I can see them as I go about my work in the game rooms. Every time I see them I get a smile (with a twinge of sadness) as I remember Ian and our last day together. These items don’t look out of place with the rest of the collection around them yet stand out as the most important to me.
I recently picked up an art piece to go with them at Dragon Con 2022 from artist Nigel Sade. I paid for this large vertical print & asked to simply have “For Ian” written on it by the artist. My plan is to have this custom framed with two small shelves added onto the frame to display these ships as a memorial piece to my brother. I have only one person I trust to help with this job and I’m fairly sure he will be happy to help me with this endeavor.
And while I know this whole post has been a history about the final days of my little brother and two toys he left me it felt like the best way to describe a true “personal” collection as for each of us there is a story attached to the items…the memories and stories that are irreplaceable and unique. That give these items a station above just being “things” but raises them up to physical anchors to memories, dreams, family, friends, and so much more. The size of the collection is irrelevant, the cost of it is immeasurable. It’s only one true thing…it’s personal.
I miss you Ian.
Jeremy E. Powers, Sr.
@Zenspath